You know that old cliche, "Failure is not an option?" Sometimes, it's true and in my case it was definitely true. You cannot quit your job without a fallback or life line, and I knew this, but that's just what I did. The two roommates I shared an apartment with had gotten married and I would soon be looking for a place to live. My parents had retired to Florida so I was certainly not moving back home again, that was for sure. I was on my own, in a major metropolitan city, trying to figure out my life with only my savings, my car and the charity of a few friends. All of which was slowly starting to run out; just like that window of opportunity.
Back then, I thought those next few months were rough and dark but little did I know, the coming few years did not look any brighter. I bunked in guest rooms, sub-lets, met psychotic roommates (seriously...unstable people) and again, got to the point, like it or not, that I had worn out my welcome in a city that I considered home. Time to call on more favors, but these would take moving across country again, and to a city that I did not consider home. I packed up my computer, some clothes, my hockey equipment in my not-so-new-any-more-car and placed all my worldly possessions in storage before I hit the road south. However, after landing there and fishing around for leads on anything for a few months, I helped a friend out who in turn, suggested a new path. I knew I wanted to stay in some kind of computer related field and that I was "somewhat" artistic so imagine my surprise when it was suggested that I go back to school for a career in video games. On that day everything changed.
The old way of thinking was you get an education, you get a job and you save for retirement. You get one shot in life, one path where you take it and stay the course; you don't get a reset button. You don't take chances or risks, especially on careers in fields that you know nothing about or how they will fare. People say life is hard and I used to think that too but now I look at it from a different perspective. I think the hardest thing in a person's life is just figuring out what they are going to do with it. Once you figure that out then the answers to all life's questions will present themselves. One way or another, but they will.
So, I enrolled in classes and got a part-time job. I got a room in a home with a friend who was recently divorced. All the basics of room and board, food, gas and any other extraneous needs were taken care of with a work-study job and savings, leaving me to focus on my new future. A future that was my choice now and something that I had been doing all my life which I was now vested in. I hit the books hard and most kids didn't stand a chance. I wish I could brag saying I was in my early thirties with a college degree and seven years professional experience up against eighteen year old's fresh out of high school who were probably still living with their parents....BUT I was in my early thirties with a college degree and seven years professional experience up against eighteen year old's fresh out of high school who were probably still living with their parents. Hoo. Ray. For. Me.
When you're paying the bills yourself and you've got no where else to turn, your whole approach to school takes on a different meaning. Granted, it was an "art" school but I was getting all A's that first year. Then the roommate got married again and guess who lost that battle? It was back to knocking on people's doors knowing that the situation was never ideal for either party and that door could be slammed shut anytime. From guest room, to basement to couch to backseat of my car, I managed to keep the ball rolling. The grades started to slip but I didn't care; I just needed to pass and get to the next semester. My future, my career, my dreams and most importantly, my bills were not going to wait patiently if I failed a class and had to retake any of them. People wonder why I'm so akin to pirates. Upstanding citizens are something to model yourself after but sometimes you have to lie, cheat or steal just to get to the end of the day, especially when you've got no one to rely on but yourself.
Needless to say, one last family member bailed me out of a tight mess a day when I was scrambling for a roof over my head. She herself, was being bailed out by another friend so you could say we found ourselves in dire straits together and hey, "any port in a storm." This last refuge came in the form of a basement apartment, literally under the stairs. There was no owl post waiting to tell me I'd been accepted to a better life; only a small dog the size of a rat with Parkinson's disease, shaking and pissing on the hardwoods above me. This last stop on my journey was made of concrete walls with sunlight reaching the very far corners of the space only for the briefest of minutes during the day. It was an extra burden carrying the load of everything else going on in my life while fighting the depression of the place. The irony struck me funny when I'd think back to how I'd opened myself up to all of these trials so many years ago when I let go of the safety line.
In the end, I graduated first overall and first from the program. It was a race to the finish line, make no mistake about that. There were some very talented people around me and all of us shooting for the same thing. A few more hiccups along the way, but that's life and at least I'd found the right path. This one led me out of the factory and since then, I've risen higher than I ever did in my last profession with just as much pride, if not more, in what I do. Sure, I still work for a big company but the difference is, I love what I do and that alone has made all the difference. From architecture to level design, it's not the easy answer as promised but it's all true. Everyone has to find their own path, good or bad; easy or full of challenge but I guarantee no one else out there will have the exact same story as you.
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